DPRK Guilty of Bullying

The DPRK has recently been making threats against South Korea, in it's typical war monger style. Months ago, the South made it quite clear that they do not need the North or it's missile programs for protection, yet the North continue to spin the same tales that their "military first" policy is for the good of all Koreans. This story is simply a lie, to cover the North's build up of arms for its war moves. The North has been reckless in its pursuit of military offensive power, and has offended South Korea, harming inter-Korean relations and damaging the prospect of reunification. The South, as a member of the UN, and a pursuer of world peace, condemned the North's actions, but this has led them to come under fire from the North's regime. The DPRK has a habit of blowing hot air, but the threats cannot be ignored. It seems very much as if the North is intending to provoke conflict, so it can begin a second invasion of the South in an effort to errode its freedoms and seize its wealth.

Kim Jong-il Limerick

There once was a leader called Kim
Who thought North Korea could win
He spent all his Won
to develop the bomb
so he ran out of money for gin

North Korean News to be Broadcast in the US

"Official" North Korean News (propaganda) is now to be broadcast in the US, according to TV schedulers. The "news" channel will undergo a makeover to better reflect its message. The news show will be presented by two puppets called "Comrade Kim" and "Imperialist Stooge". "Stooge" will constantly get in Kim's way during the broadcast. This will prompt Kim to knock him out with his revolutionary upswing, and allow him to continue reading the news. North Korean officials have said "This is a great development. Now we can brainwash American children in the same way we have brainwashed ours."

DPRK Will Deliver "Merciless" Blow

The DPRK has described the sanctions following it's nuke test as a "Declaration of War", and has promised that further actions will be met with a "merciless" blow. It is unclear at this time if this is simply more DPRK hot air, but the message here is clear. In promising a "merciless" blow, the DPRK has shown that it intends to attack targets which cause the most pain and suffering to it's opponents (i.e. civilian targets). DPRK terrorism knows no bounds.

Real KCNA Editor Returns from Holiday to Find Office Ransacked by North Korean Agents!

Returning to the scene of chaos and destruction, the editor of the real KCNA has made a shocking discovery. While cleaning up the mess of the presumed burglary, he discovered a wallet on the floor. Inside the wallet was an ID card for "Sally Fletcher", with a Korean male's picture taped over the top, and the words "I am not a North Korean agent." scribbled on the back in biro. Despite the cleverness of the ingenious disguise, the editor saw through the fake ID card and reported the matter to the police. The DPRK will stop at nothing to sabotage the truth in any shape or form.

DPRK Third Nuclear Test Succeeds

After many civilian deaths, and a couple of failed attempts, the war monger Kim Jong-il has finally proven that he can build nuclear weapons. He now plans to use them to hold South Korea to ransom, forcing them to turn over money and food aid, and finally giving up control and making him total master of the Korean peninsula. The rest of the world will not sit idly by while he launches his war of aggression. Current plans are to cut off his supplies so that he cannot initiate his war strategy.

DPRK Second Nuclear Test Fails

The DPRK has tested a second nuclear device, which was an incredible failure, according to a special report by the newspaper Longschlong Sinmun. Tens of thousands of innocent civilians died from the radiation leak, when the bomb failed to go off and began leaking radioactive material into the local environment. The DPRK does not have a good track record with weapon tests, however a third test is scheduled for the weekend. Will it be third time lucky, or will more innocents die so that Kim Jong-il can further his plans for war?